Like all things in life, horses can be hugely disappointing. They go lame, they get sick, they don't behave the way we want them to. Sometimes, we fall off, or loose our tempers, or leave the arena in a huff. I've been struggling a lot lately with taking the next step with all my horses- getting them more supple, more reliably on the bit, and more balanced. I know theoretically how to do it, but I just can't seem to get all the parts to line up in that magical way all riders aspire too. My body doesn't cooperate, or I can't get the timing right, or I release too late, or, or, or... I know that I'm on the edge of a breakthrough, but that is little comfort when I can't seem to put all the pieces together and I'm frustrated and struggling.
When things are going well, all rides are successful and fun- I'd love them to last forever, but I also know that unless I miraculously learn EVERYTHING there is to know about riding and horses, that won't ever work. Usually it takes a couple of weeks for things to start to feel like they're going downhill. For example, last week, I ended up spending 2 days working on my posting trot. On every horse I rode. Not lateral work, not changes, just posting trot. I just couldn't get it right enough! I know I'm on the right track when I start to recognize what I'm struggling with in my students (sorry, guys!). I know I'm getting closer when I have little glimmers of "GOT IT" in my daily rides. I know I'm really close when I can tell when I'm doing it wrong. I once heard training and learning described as an "inconsistent upward trend," which is perfect.
Once I figure this next piece of the puzzle out, I'll head merrily along my way until I come up against the next big struggle. Then, I'll try and try, and get frustrated and try some more, because, at Rebecca West said,
"Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul."
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